Out with the old, in with the new

Well, here it is.  My shiny new blog about... well, as the title says, a little of this and a little of that.

My old blog is still there, just in case you want to go back and take a look.  Part of the reason I quit writing there was simply the name.  I hate it.  It isn't representative of who I am, or what I'm about.  Yes, at the time, I was a stay-at-home mom, and that was my only occupation.  However, I have never, EVER considered myself a "housewife".  That's an antiquated, narrow-minded moniker to describe a woman who stays home, whether by choice or by necessity, to care for her children and home.

When you think of a "housewife", what sort of images does your brain conjure up?  A neatly dressed woman in a perfectly pressed apron, perfectly made up, not a hair out of place.  A woman who has dinner on the table when hubby arrives home from work, whose house is spotless from top to bottom.  All the laundry is washed, folded and put away, nary a stray pile to be found either in the living room or on a bed.  The children are polite and well-mannered, and never, ever speak out of turn.

I've got two out of three on that last one, and majority wins in my opinion.  But my house isn't spotless... far from it in fact (not that I'm proud of that; it's just my reality).  And if you really want the truth, I hate to cook.  I do it because I have to, not because I love it.  I wish I loved it.  It would make meal planning and preparation so much more of an adventure for me than the drudgery that it is.  As for laundry?  It is quite simply the bane of my existence.  It's never ending and exhausting.  I will freely admit to, more than once, going through an entire weeks worth of clothes without ever having removed them from the dryer.  Again, I'm not necessarily proud of that (matter of fact, that was a while ago) but it's reality.

One other particularly nauseating image that rises up when I hear the word "housewife" is the image of the doting and obedient wife.  I don't wait on my husband, nor does he expect me to.  I don't go around cleaning up after him; if his dirty unmentionables don't make it into the hamper, they don't get washed.  Period.  I've got two kids, and I don't want three.  We're both the grown-ups, equals in this relationship.  No one is subservient to the other.  True, he has been the "breadwinner" in our marriage since day one.  But that doesn't mean he's the "boss".  I do the books, I pay the bills, and I try to keep everyone on schedule.  I used to get paid for that!  I'm also not the only one who deals with the kids... my husband takes on his fare share of bathing, tooth brushing, tucking into bed, and when the occasion called for it, changing poopy diapers (thankfully, those days are behind us!)  The word "obey" was deliberately left out of our marriage vows, and quite frankly if he'd wanted that word included, we wouldn't be married.

My decision to become a homemaker (blech, don't like that one much better than housewife, but anyway...) was both a choice and a necessity; had I gone back to work after my son was born, I would have spent at least as much on childcare as I brought home!  So why on earth would I go back to work just to pay someone else to raise my child??  Nope, not me.  And I loved being home with my babies.  When they were so tiny, and every day was a first.  When their little personalities started to assert themselves, and they were so impressionable, I'm so blessed and proud that they got their guidance from me, and not a virtual stranger who may or may not share my values on child-rearing.

Now, don't get me wrong... I'm not bashing women out there who do consider themselves housewives; who love to cook and clean, and dote on their hard-working husbands.  If that's who you are and what you want to do, more power to you!  I'm just saying it's not who I am.  And it's not what I want to do.  I'm also not saying that my husband doesn't work hard.  He does.  But so do I.  

Now that my kids are older, people start asking, "what are you going to do when they're both in school?"  Honest answer?  I don't know.  I'm 35 years old, and I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

Which is why I started the blog in the first place.  To keep an account of the changes going on in my life, to have someplace to share my thoughts, feelings, even complaints and frustrations.  I am a wife, and a mother, but that's not all I am.    

So, here we are.  I'm not making any promises, and I don't know exactly where this will lead, but I hope you'll join me for the ride.